Chapter VII
Master Degree

    As my wife was outside home, the woman whom I characterized as "disseminator of mystical news", told me to go and see Mrs L. who was extremely keen on mysticism and was just undergoing a spa treatment.

    We had known each other with that "news propagator" for some time. She wanted to induce me to show greater publication activity, but she had to encounter unconcern and reluctance on my side. On the other hand, she was a kind woman with a great deal of concern about help to others. She was therefore talking about some people, but it did not arouse my interest. But when she talked about Mrs L., I was "scenting" a little, nonetheless, I put a brave face on it so that she noticed nothing.

    Then she thought there was a good opportunity to pay a visit at Mrs L., for she succeeded at last in sending me, along with the approval of Mrs L., also an invitation letter. I consented to come.

    I was expected at a railway station in Podebrady (Czech town). Upon my arrival I saw among the waiting people a lady that gave me the impression of an overheated boiler – so much energy she had, although constantly hidden beyond the perfect mental peace and nerves that were so strong that made me think many times later that I would probably never be able to agitate that soul to create conditions for a tangible sign of divinity in her being and life.

    Me, who walked through the world as someone bearing a precious treasure of spirituality and called at people, "Please yourselves, take it, it’s good and completely for free", I was slightly "off the rails" on having seen her – I hid the treasure behind my back, wanting to say, "See? I had nothing".

    In a state of excitement, I swerved my steps, looked at timetables for a while, but in the end, I turned quickly and went towards her to introduce myself.

    Then I got calm. We went together to her flat, she was talking about her interest and I was hardly listening to her. But then suddenly she said: "I want to go together with my husband."

    It occurred to me, ´what nonsense does she talk´, the "silly woman", but I said nothing aloud.

    At home, she showed me the posture of gods, and I responded to it with the words that she should not do it, but as she had already begun, she should go on practising it. Then I gave her some advice, also pointed out that I had to meet her husband and then I left. The embodiment of decency thought for herself: He can go to hell when he has no interest.

    At that time I also used to visit Mr S. whom I would initially visit in Lanzhot, but later in Hodonin. The ground for the change of the meeting place was that Gestapo arrested me in Lanzhot, questioned me and took down a statement with me. The problem here was that I would let make phone calls to a bordering country at the time when there was already the spying of those who helped our people get abroad. The bad situation turned better as they did not send the record after me to my place of stay. Therefore I was left alone, but I would travel only to Hodonin then. I took those trips for necessary, for Mr S. attained soon realization as I learned "from the air".

    I observed at the same time that also Dr K. was developing. He may have been surprised that I consider as very good when he "was nearly going mad" as he said later.

    Also he achieved realization during the following two years. However, I was concerned that his realization be good, because he asked only questions of technical character, which meant he wanted to go by himself and did not want me to "meddle in his life". He probably did not know he had before himself a very experienced man, because he was one of those "storm-troopers" from the group around the "pupil-leader". That was why he could hear of me only as of a black magician, which forced me not to speak about moral tenets in mysticism so that I should not be suspicious that it was just because I recommended the morals that I was a black magician. His progress on the mystical path was obvious to me; however, he was just curing himself from the whispering campaign [against me] that left impressions on everybody’s mind.

    It was pity that there was a "wall" between the two of us, because I liked his capability of going the "path of reason". Well, we will see later.

    Some time later, there arose at last circumstances that guided me from one of my journeys home in a bend instead of directly, so that I could fulfil the promise to have a look at Mrs L’s husband.

    They greeted me pleasantly, but – I came to examine the situation, after all. I started talking about my view of God, about the possibilities of going to heaven and about other things. All that made Mrs L. take a reserved stand on it, whereas Mr L. thought it to be too much for his taste, perhaps something like blasphemy.

    Since I did not care very much about their opinions, as I talked of my own accord, I felt very well at the visit.

    But quite a different situation arose at home.

    I was invited to have a check-up whether I was capable of working in Germany. As I was just on the way, they sent the letter of invitation back, and I tried to get a job right in Pardubice through my brother.

    I was engaged, but at the Employment Office they did not have my documents as they passed them over to the department that was dispatching labours for work in Germany. Then a policeman came to investigate what was going on with me, but I did not want to go with him, I wanted to go alone. The doctor found heart defects. They told me at the office that I would not have had to start working anywhere, but as I had already found a job, I should work, then.

    I turned over a new leaf; it was a life of a factory employee, what I was afraid of due to the psychological atmosphere of the factory. They gave me work in the copy-room, but as I did not have a directly assigned activity, I remained unnoticed and did nothing.

    In the next office, in the registry, there was a man that was redundant, so they moved me there. It was a very bad milieu because of the present registry-clerk. As I came there, he greeted me with the words, "the Czech swines and furious sows are awfully bad characters", and therefore, "one must be wary of them". He constantly spat on the floor and stamped upon it with rage, because, "the Czech bastards keep wanting something and they don’t know what".

    He was nearly an illiterate person, he filed the registry with documents starting from several drawings, so that he had a "special system of depositing into folders"; on the other hand he showed a real brilliance in ambiguous talks [double entendre].

    Dear specialists in pedagogy and psychology! In the factory milieu you can find a lot of people who are very clumsy and dull in even the simplest social and economic problems, but they show exceptionally active, vivid and "intelligent" thinking in the field of erotic. I mention it as a example here, because such substantive or, better to say, psychological arrangements form later revolutionaries who are convinced that they know everything best of all and who, having such self-esteems, know only how to bury the culture if they get the opportunity to do so someday.

    Essentially, I see it as a logical consequence of many mistakes that were made by the more influential group of human society, and it is obvious to me that it is a deviation, the root of which is the development of human intelligence and the present economic depression. Well, the beginnings of intelligence of socially oppressed masses can do well with erotic for a certain time, but some time later they will want to show themselves also in the social race. And what I can see is that the situation has come so far that the human society will not have time enough to balance out the karmic debts to those whose intellects have been shaped by social injustice.

    You will have – and you already have – the proletariat that is intelligent at least to such a degree that they will be able to exert pressures that will be a permanent threat to the social life. This is the reason why I want to face only the horizons where I don’t have to see the flames of world formed in passion, ignorance, distress and hardship.

    Since the moment of my spiritual awakening with consequently opening my spiritual sight (in 1926), I have observed horrible shadows that fall on the future. It has been so far proven by the coming of the economic crisis and the war.

    What will come next?

    I used to say during the war that we as a whole were on the verge of the abyss and that I did not know whether that war meant exactly that abyss. However, it was as early as on 8th or 9th May 1945 that I answered the question of Mrs L., that we, as a whole, were even closer to that abyss. And today when I write these lines, I don’t want to change my prediction.

    Well, I worked in the registry office. The "old geezer" told me, in addition to the mentioned instructions: "These are semi-finished products, those are price lists, this is roentgen, that is so and so."

    I did not wonder any more at the one whom I replaced that he could not finish anything. One cannot bear all those things in mind and it made me stupid, too.

    So again, I did not do anything. But then, looking at the shelves, observing the groups of numbers, I suddenly got an idea and then I was filing everything as if I had been there for a long time.

    Then it was the "old geezer" who did not understand. I explained to him: "The things here are arranged from one up to the highest number, this one is same, and those things go by the same system. Everything is filed by format size." He racked his brain. Eventually he grasped that one, two, three etc. makes also a categorisation. Thereby I gained his liking and became an efficient employee of the factory.

    Then they reassigned me. They allotted me the German registry, and the work was a stroll for me. But what seemed to me no "stroll" was the situation I was in as an employee of such and such category. They could attack me anytime because I was a "spiritualist", and I was already so sensitive to it that such attacks could made the yogic strength burst out of me and it could bring about a disaster.

    They pretended to know what spiritualism was about. It was probably so, that a cleaning woman, because someone trod on her floor-cloth as she was wiping floor with it, called "good souls" away from the man; then he behaved apologetically and so the cleaning lady allowed the souls to come back to him again.

    I will avert everything, I decided. There were dirty jokes - double entendres, the best form of amusement. Well, if you can lead double meaning talks, I can talk triple meaning, quadruple meaning or even multiple meaning.

    From that moment, the milieu had become "congenial". The "old geezer" drooled sometimes over the images that began to dance before his eyes – he was an "old trouper", after all. Then it seemed to be too much even for his taste – and so he reprimanded me. But I got "visions" and therefore was going keenly that direction of the mental path. It went simply so that when I left that post, the new head of the registry office could only sigh:

    "I am really a dirty old man, but I would like to know how that Minarik did it that he could keep the morale on such a poor level!"

    But that situation has been a history for a long time. I can only remember how they at last learned that Minarik had written a book on "spiritism". They could not laugh immediately because the atmosphere was too tempestuous and "rational". So they just observed. Finally, one mouth opened:

    "Oh, you’re surely no spiritist. It could be rather the "old geezer" than you. And if you’ve really written a book, then it must have been just for money."

    I was satisfied with the reaction. My heart should not be hurt and therefore could not in a painful scream shoot, like a merciless archer, lethal arrows at the people who dared to attack, for their own gratification or otherwise, without knowing what.

    And during that period, a new situation was arising, and it was different from this harsh reality that shot me down to bed as an ill person three times during somewhat more than two years.

    Here and there word got around that I was a "spiritualist" who had written a book on "spiritism", when it finally got to the ear of Mr Š.

    He stopped working and immediately came to see me.

    His question was straight: "Have you written some book about mysticism?"

    "Yes, I have," was my answer.

    "Is it written on the basis of your own experience or is it just a compilation?"

    "It’s from my own experience."

    Sodom yielded one just man. My heart became more placable and, in spite of having stepped in the life of that young man like a bolt from the blue, yet I was also getting on better afterwards. We had mutual talks; he was astonished over my statement that the wilderness could end for me by simply shutting the door of the registry-office. He began to take greater and greater liking to me. One day he could witness that I became restless all of a sudden, complaining that my wife was badly off, so that I would need a gate pass to go home in order to intervene. While talking about it, it flashed upon me that it also would have been too late, so I discharged invisible arrows, whereupon I told him that "it was already good"; I may have said even very good, because – as I could see for myself when I came home – I found my wife in bed bathing in a blissful realization. And I could regard the realization of hers as the highest and the best one I could have ever seen someone had attained. But this is an event of later time.

    Pardubice was tormented by air-raids warnings. Night air-raids of planes flying low represented great danger. I was very worried.

    I felt the war as one of those who were responsible for its breaking up. The spasmodic pain in my breast forced me to generate mental combinations which enabled me to get involved in the run of the war, as if I were just a more significant rank-and-file trooper. As a French soldier I could experience the flood of fire and iron at Sedan, and feel the melting of tanks that formed my body; I could flounder in the blackness of a naval battle somewhere in the North See where the British Navy evoked respect of the Germans; I could even assist somewhere near Pantallery in a naval battle in which the Italian fleet swept later from my sight. I could be present at the "skirmishes" in North Africa and then experience the fading cannonade somewhere near Viazma, and could spread the invisible wings over the Stalingrad’s agony. Having experienced everything so vividly I could describe the places, the movements of fronts and further details, and I also mentioned those things here and there.

    Ing. H. (ing. = engineer – CZ degree) was "analysing critically" my observations: "So you can see the Italian fleet and African coast at the same time?"

    "Of course," I replied.

    "That’s exactly what is illogical about it," he argued. The human eyes cannot embrace such distances and, at the same time, discern the tiny ships, but you don’t seem to know it."

    You ass, I thought to myself, do you think I am seeing with the human eyes? My formless body covers all this space and my eye pupils do not contract the object into one single point in the natural visual field, but they resemble huge and complex ocular surfaces that are intended for transmitting the perception somewhere to the centre of consciousness. However, I don’t intend to amaze by pointless accounts. I feel the war on my own body as a being that suffers from it and – abhors the cruel, terrible and, for people so far incomprehensible, future.

    Then, in the middle of one night, there was a "tree" hanging right over our heads, illuminating the dark night. I was walking across the garden, listening to the whistle of bombs; for all eventualities I escorted my wife and our son into the woodshed, as the Dweller of the Threshold had pronounced lately threats from the so-called force majeure.

    I trusted those who were bombing. Unfortunately I did not have a good view of the landscape due to houses standing in front, but it seemed to me that the bombs were falling neither onto the Fantovka nor on the railroad station. I thought that there was something wrong in/with it.

    As I went to the factory the next morning I found out that neither the railway station nor the Fantovka were bombed out, but several houses far away were destroyed during the bombing raid.

    I stopped believing the air-defence federations and rather began to concentrate on my inner sense. As a consequence of that I said one day: "Mr B., go and distribute these papers of A.R.P., please, to avoid getting into some trouble."

    At that time I was a deputy commander of A.R.P. (Air Raid Protection). However, I discharged the service very carelessly, because I could find out from my condition that it was useless to trouble people with what they would not follow as they could not. It is necessary to remove the war and not to instruct us the way to behave before, during and after the air raids. All is just nonsense of the immense political criminality committed by people drowned in heresy and megalomania. People who assume the right over the nations, the right that does not belong to any individual or group.

    I instructed my wife to take a bike and leave for distant fields behind the town as soon as the sound of the bombing alarm comes. I had taken our son earlier to our friends; he was going to school there and was intended to stay there until a more convenient moment.

    So I was free from one problem. For that reason I was calm the next day when the alarm came. I carried out the duties of the deputy commander of A.R.P. and then told my wife to leave.

    I was employed on the other side of the town. There was an air-raid at noon during which I heard something like pulling down blinds. I saw fume in the distance and at the same time apprehension was arising in me…

    The bombing ceased in the end. The alarm was not yet called off, but I thought the further hesitating would have caused delay on the way and so I went quickly home. As I was near home I could only go on foot and walk my bicycle as I was passing intensively burning diesel oil that was casting its heat at my face. I heard crackling and explosions and over my head, as an infernal canopy, a cloud of fume spread out, stretching away to the west, tens of kilometres far, and contrasted with the clear sky in which the hot August sun was shining.

    The street where our house stood was destroyed. And over the way where this morning a two-family house stood, only a bomb crater and scattered debris were left. I went closer to our house to look at it. It was ragged, so that it was impossible to live in it, but at the same time I was pleased that the situation was like that, as it corresponded too well to the portent I had had.

    I went several steps back and remarked: "Bitches, they smashed the gate-post with the ring-bell. How will people ring to get in now?"

    A lady that was the owner of the mentioned two-family house was approaching me and told me in an earnest tone: "Mr Minarik, it was here that I lay (it was perhaps only one metre and a half off the house in the gateway), and I was screaming at my son to leave the house, because there was death going about here. It was really horrible, just look at the wen on my head."

    Ridiculous contrasts. The entire street is demolished, people cry over the lost property and here – look – the bumped head as a proof that it was truly horrible.

    Besides, she was a spiritist that faced bravely her fate. She saw her son as he, already dead, flew up high in the air. As I examined the state in the very centre of her breast, I heard a feeble voice: "Well that’s alright. It was intended by God and what God makes must be good."

    I could but wonder at the bottomless peace of that simple human soul. But beyond that calmness, I could find something like a menacing strength that was injured by the objective iniquity, a power that was coming out of her being and was licking me on all parts of my body.

    Yes, lady, I thought, I understand you better than you can even imagine. Then my eyes turned where the work of a moment was able to enforce tears on the faces of even the old men as they saw their life-work in ruins. So, later I tried to say only words of comfort. Being in such a condition, I was far beyond thinking of the junk I lost during the air raid. In fact, I should forfeit much more after the death of Mr B., as I had bought the house in his name and he had brothers and a sister who wanted to inherit.

    I tried to open the door of our broken house. It was not locked. I became worried, because I could not open because of the bicycle that blocked the door inside.

    "What’s up with my wife?" I posed the question to myself as suddenly many things were out of line. Being agitated, I began to look for her. I knew she could not leave the bombed zone on foot. This fact brought me even into moments of anxiety. Then my heart sounded: Everything is in order, don’t worry.

    But in spite of that I was going about, full of restlessness, asking people about my wife, but no one could tell me anything about her. Then at last, after a relatively long time, my wife came back. She explained:

    "I would’ve left at once because I knew already the bombing should come, but the neighbours were not at home, only grandma was, and as I felt that their house would be bombed out, I helped her with climbing over the fence. That held me up, I didn’t go back to take the bike and eventually found a refuge at one baker. But I can assure you dad, I was entirely calm. --- Then I was saving a baby of a mother who was so scared that she pressed the baby into the swaddling clothes and nearly smothered it. But it was affecting me too, even though I knew that no bomb would fall into our shelter. They were falling just in the vicinity."

    I said nothing and only thought about the Dweller of the Threshold on one hand and about the All-Holy on the other. The main thing is that her weak nerves stood it, I concluded.

    Then my friends came to help me to move our things to one acquainted tinsmith who took a liking to me, since he considered me a spiritist. Then I stopped taking care of everything.

    I went for a "bombing vacation" and enjoyed the leisure. As a matter of fact, I needed some rest. I felt a strong nerve fatigue and my state of health required something else than just seeing Pardubice perpetually exposed to bombing attacks from the air forces of the West.

    I remained with my wife at a quiet place for a couple of days and could recall that it was there that I had met Mrs L. some two months ago, as she and her husband had left their summer flat to me and wanted no money for it. I could think back to her perpetual, "What shall I do", and to my stereotyped answers, "Do what you have done up to now."

    The problem is that people do not know what they do, especially if this "work" is comprised chiefly in the fiery desire for liberation from the outer or inner distress. Deceived by doctrinal systems of modern mysticism they assume that "doing something" means simply sitting in some oriental posture and simultaneously looking at the navel or mentally fixing one’s attention to somewhere or to something so intensively that a callus will grow on their brains. Or, sometimes they believe that the entire mystical effort is based on the right arrangement of the letters I, A and O, or on reciting some "enormously effective secret mantras" that some dubious master of mysticism can impart to them. I reality, they fail to know that the most powerful agent of each mystic teaching as well as of the organization of one’s life is the mental state that results from their reactions to life coincidences on one hand, and the desire that is conditioned by these reactions on the other.

    So how could I have enumerated her all those effective moments that were opening the mystical path to her, the moments that were created by mental reactions to her own vividly experienced, real, life. Well, she can break her legs by sitting in oriental postures and concentrate until she goes dotty, and yet she need not contribute anything at all to the conditions that would take her towards liberation. --- Do what you will, but don’t get tired when you begin to view the world with different eyes, at the time when you no longer perceive it as hell, but when it begins to appear as a milieu more pleasant to live in.

    I can never prepare anybody for this instant, even if I assigned the most ingenious set of exercises on the level of the mental and physiological regimen. This moment is a trial by itself and man either passes it or fails in it.

    Who has not channelled his effort to eradicate the entire animal tendencies from one’s being, hunts in mysticism for new opportunities for pleasant sensational experiences in the sensual world. Such orientation, however, signifies that the sense of mysticism has never been apprehended; on the contrary, this teaching intends in reality to help relieve man of suffering by obligating him to abandon all efforts to gratify his nature in the usual way and, conversely, to uproot from himself all wishes and desires.

    If one succeeds, he starts to be happy from the inner conditions. His greed stops to bother him and to impose the pessimistic life opinion upon him, that means, he begins to view the world with the new eyes, with the eyes of someone who is not troubled by unsatisfied lusts. And this is the beginning of happiness that cannot be ruined, because it is not based on the hoarding of property.

    One more word to the trial. I decided to warn Mrs L. of trouble spots where a spiritual fall is likely to occur and I was sure she would follow my remarks, as she was mature to go further the mystical path.

    But enough of that now. The "bombing holiday" was over. So I had to leave that relatively quiet place and return to where we had left everything as it was; there was only one exception, namely that I, with some help of one man, had built a new woodshed, then had made by myself the truss and tiled the roof.

    We had no flat to live in. Therefore I left my wife on spot and accepted the offer of the appreciative listener from the registry office, Mr Š., to move into his flat. He seized that opportunity for dialogues that used to last as late as midnight, and sometimes even later, perhaps from day to day. I would narrate him incredible stories from my life and he, judging from the way of my talking and behaviour, admitted they could be true.

    Then the tinsmith, where we had stored our belongings [from the broken house], pronounced an understandable complaint that he would need the workshop empty again. He was a tradesman and the workshop served him for earning his living. It seemed to me, too, that the odd situation had lasted too long, and so I applied again to the All-Holy, having asked Him about what was going on with the new circumstances that should have taken a (relatively) favourable turn in His opinion.

    He reassured me that I should not take care of anything.

    However, I bore in mind that I troubled a trader [with storing my things in his house]. But then Mr B. came to tell me that a man offered him a possibility that we could move into his flat.

    So, we lived in a new flat, in an attic, where we were rather cramped for space. I was writing my second book there, which was published in 1945, when the war was over. And it was exactly there that my wife fell into a state which I caught in its very beginning as I was working in the registry office, and which proved to be the realization I had already mentioned.

    She was experiencing happiness. After a great hardship she would often complain about and which each of her listeners could view in a different way according to his or her standpoint, after her having become insane and after the period in which I would literally caused her mental anguish by the mere radiation of my being, I found her lying on bed, nearly wallowing in blissful feelings.

    As I weighed up her psychical condition and the state of her mind, I found nothing harmful about it. It was impossible that I explained her the processes that were seizing her being from moment to moment. I knew she would not have understood and, in trying to comprehend, she would have given rise to a situation that would have ruined the "Great Experience".

    I considered her condition of that time as a relief for myself; anyway, the circumstances forced me to constantly look somewhere else, towards the horizons that appeared to me dark and illuminated only by weak light that promised a short break for recuperation of myself.

    The air-raids would come repeatedly. After the experiences with the "dangerous zone off bombing" and remembering the obdurate and sometimes even raving enmity of the Keeper of the Threshold, we preferred to go waiting outside the town always when an alarm came. And so it happened one day that somewhere in a wood, something strained in my wife’s forehead and thereupon she said: "The world is opening for me. I can see wherever I want. Oh, that’s beautiful!"

    Yes, it is beautiful, but only at first sight. If one watches for a longer time, he will see also the horrors in which the world drowns, those little horrors of today. Moreover, he can perceive even more dreadful terrors that people head, as they are haughty, rapt with passions and ignorance and banking on their absurd intellect. Indeed, the clairvoyant’s world is lovely if seen by someone who goes to nature in a Sunday’s afternoon and there, free from all worries, he enjoys the magnificent views of the lovely, sunlit countryside. But the world is less beautiful for a seer that can measure the widths and depths of the hopelessness-inspiring self-confidence of people, which is not supported by sharp intellect but only by various passions and by instinct of self-preservation.

    What I mean to say here is that those who have not understood the real meaning of the mystical teaching strive primarily to achieve supernormal psychic powers. They would like to become clairvoyant, clear-hearing and in a way also mighty. But the real clear-sightedness, which is not based on seeing symbols but on perceiving reality that is usually concealed by the mask of phenomena, means seeing what is to happen because it has been prepared by the inner states of people.

    With respect to the fact that the predominant psychological factor in the human world is lust, a real clairvoyant can see nothing but the evil that results from lusts. It is, indeed, so easy to guess that lust means wanting to have what is in possession of another man and, that if this lust is strong and uncompromising, it leads to the rise of violence. Violence calls forth defence; attack and defence trigger fight – which means that people by their current nature cannot avoid evil; they wear it within and assert it just because they have let themselves seize with lust.

    Taking this insight into consideration, the question is if it is any good to see and guess that one individual from the hoard of greed-stricken creatures, resembling sharks, comes up from the struggle for gain better than another one. A seer should see the right sense of the struggle for prey into which the people have been taken by their lusts, but he should learn from it that he should eradicate greed within himself to avoid being also carried along into this struggle, in which one is not a bit considerate to another. Then he will become a real seer, somebody who, by means of his abilities, tries to get wisdom rather than prey or pleasure of being successful in this struggle for prey.

    For my part, I have never paid attention to any presages that should predict success in the field of outer activities. On the other hand, I have observed to what kind of behaviour the unrestrained emotions lead, and I learned from it that if man wants to escape suffering, he must do his best to uproot in himself the elementary drives and to attain thereby the psychological expansion as a being free from everything and, by means of this expansion, to identify himself with the very essence of the universe.

    I used to hear that this effort should be a manifest of the Buddhist pessimism, the proof of inability to assert oneself in the world, which is said to be the true token of optimism. However, God in my Heart uttered silently upon that view: "Be careful! Asserting oneself in this sense does not necessarily mean that man embraces the higher values of life, but on the contrary, he sinks into the unrestrained and nobody-sparing greed. Besides, who acts like a beast of prey can end up as a beast, too. And if he does not become a beast in this very incarnation, he will live to become one in some of his next lives. You demand the good, then do good, too."

    You woman whose intellect is not even as that of an average-clever person, but in spite of this, you were licked by the flames that represent another manifestation of the mental states and tensions of the mystic who stands and lives by your side, you will certainly not profit from your vision a boost or reassurance for such smartness that made e.g. Šť. strive to create a new cosmos for his own use. And this fact makes me value the realisation you attained as the best and purest of all I have ever had the chance to see and observe.

    We, who have had intellect or will for our use, could have just tarnished that "Great Experience" by strength of these psychological factors. We did not have the chance to submit ourselves to the experience the way you did; we could only pay attention whether what was entering into us as God himself was not the Devil - the false enchantment. But who is able to understand all these incomprehensible things? So, we will continue.

    Mrs L. had been trying for a long time to visit me. We had met only four times or so during the four years and she was burning with desire [to see me].

    I concluded it would be better she did not see the environment in which I lived. There was no guarantee she would understand right all the things and, besides, what promised to bring a contribution on her mystical path could have been smothered. But despite my effort to prevent her from coming, she arrived, anyway. She saw me writing a book in the kitchen’s corner, then we talked, and when she departed I did not care about what she took from the visit. It was nearly end of the war; I did not make any journeys to see anybody, and except for local people, nobody would attend me at that time. Dr. K. had been through a realisation that I regarded as very pure, for the heart did not mingle with it, only the consciousness did. And his friend, who then might have come to see us once in a while, believed, as he could listen to Dr. K. talking, he heard the creed of my life and endeavour. --- Well, then the war ended - in sorrow and with cloudy prospects.

    The Soviet Army had not come yet. I concluded that the sun began to shine both in reality and in the heart and the minds of people who had been sorely tried lately. I left the factory where nobody worked anyway, and I came to the conclusion that the time had come to see some of my friends-mystics. I was pondering the idea over and what seemed to be the most suitable destination to go on bicycle was Turnov (CZ town) where I could visit the family L., and in the nearby town Frydstejn the family S. where I had spent my "bombing holiday" and where also my wife had stayed then, too. There I had left my son to stay for a longer time, so that he could be far from the place so threatened by bombing.

    So, I set off for the journey. There were more than 100 km to ride on bicycle to get there. I departed early in the morning and, as early as 15 minutes later I could witness very unpleasant scenes.

    There were many things from private properties of households lying in ditches on both sides of the road. At one place a man with his wife were picking something out of the heaps of stuff. Having seen them, it occurred to me: hyenas! So I accosted them: "Stealing, stealing? Is that what you’re doing?"

    As the man did not know who I was, he resisted:

    "We wanted to give it back at the National Committee."

    I continued my journey and caught up a transport. It was a crowd of startled people, in front of the crowd there was someone with his head bandaged up, and beside him a woman with her head stained with blood.

    "What bravery!" I shouted at the "partisans".

    They said nothing but could as well shoot me or put me into the transport.

    As communists who were backed up by the USSR directed the situation in our country, they claimed more power by inciting in people ill blood against ostensible criminals – Germans. As I got informed from their information sources and, as I could eventually come to know even without that information, it was just a carrion cast to the mob so that the political establishment could exert their exactly oriented politics. And this disgusting, and in fact even criminal, policy has been exercised all the time; the devilish leaders of the communist party know they must support their dirty politics by the lowest and by-elementary-instincts-driven class that is able to frighten with their deeds all more cultured people. That is the only reason why the property of some people was confiscated to make the others happy for the reason that the former had nothing either. At the same time, the values which are won with the hands of both the latter and the former are invested in further undermining activity in the parts of the world which have not yet been enslaved by communism.

    The leading communists instructed me that it was a matter of strategy, whereas the goal lay in the best circumstances, where there would be no need of government nor class distances. And in order to reach that goal it is marched toward it by means of the toughest centralization of governance, through unrestrained dictatorship of individuals, through the so-called class struggle that goes up to annihilation of not only the ones who have made up the higher class, but also of their descendants; to reach that aim it is marched by means of the immense exploitation of all people and by knocking them to slavery and mental misery the world has never known. They strive to reach that goal by giving the labourers hardly something to eat whilst they force them to give the highest workload and by nerve ruination through overwork in case of clerical workers.

    It was exactly those people who instructed me about what tactics and what target was, and those people established these circumstances without being taken aback by the inconceivable cruelty of the "strategy" they carried out. Moreover, they were here, in our very country, and probably did not even realize that they were making a revolution that would devour its own children. On the other hand, as marshal Tuchatchevski was put to law in the USSR the other day, those people were delighted with the way the justice of the USSR was able to unmask such figures, whereas the former ones said to be so shaped by the communism that they would confess everything they had allegedly been responsible for.

    However it may be about this matter, it is clear that meanness, untruth, cruelty, thoughtlessness, and a great number of other moral vices will not create the fortunes of eternity. And if there are people that are today very close behind the door of the house where I am writing this, who swear on the system of regime oriented against the so-called capitalism whilst they now and then express displeasure over the fact that they do not prosper so as the former capitalists did, yet it does not mean that this regime will survive. Indeed, this system is abandoned by everyone who possesses even the slightest glimmer of morality, so that the system must now be supported merely by opportunists or mental simpletons. These are, however not the people the world and the system of government should be based on if such system should last forever…

    I pondered: It was maybe yesterday or the day before yesterday that a panic was falling down like a dark cloud onto the quarter I lived in, for the German troops, retreating before the Russians, were about to come. And perhaps a day before, the members of "Sokol" (organization of physical education, having a very strong political impact) had a gymnastic display somewhere in town. There was a reaction of the Germans. Armoured vehicles appeared in the streets and people behaved like "peaceful citizens". And thereupon I reflected: With your bare hands you should have boxed the heads of those black uniformed men, armed to the teeth, and if you had done so, then you could have done even that. And since you have not smacked their faces, you should keep also that "heroism" to yourselves. Yes, yes. Our nation is like any one else, maybe bad one, although it was told during the war that our people would not have managed what the Germans were able to. On the other hand, only the morally deprived people could imagine heroism pointing a tommy-gun at completely barehanded people.

    Do you people believe that this condition will allow to expect happy and peaceful coexistence both within and among nations in the future? I don’t understand pedagogic or psychology if these put optimism against pessimism in this respect. There is something rotten, threatening to fall down, which exists in the whole population of our country that has been tried with threats of war and with egoism; in the humankind that is able to let the poor people die while having full plates of food; with the heart that can put the foot of its own body on the body of a person dying in the exclamation of despair; the humankind that regards the human feelings as something "irrational".

    I continued my journey with a pressure of peace lying on my shoulders.

    Because, even though the sun was shining as if in late spring, still I could see nothing but blood and darkness spreading across the endless distances of the country in which "peace has been established".

    Yes, the peace of 1945 was verily different from the one in 1918 that I could so well remember. What a mental freedom at that time compared to the tension and depression pervading the atmosphere of the year 1945. Why there was so much gloom? Because the "peace" was made by hyenas, people soaked with deep ignorance subduing every sign of humanism; people who presented us as the beginning of the thousand year’s empire just murders, despair, lies, atrocities and quite unreasonable selfishness. And you Czech folk have not been able to identify the incarnated demon within the great part of the nation, which began to lead you towards so far unimaginable sufferings, for you have been blinded by egoism. There goes an anecdote about this selfishness of yours: Coming into heaven, a German interceded for the Great German Empire (Grossdeutsches Reich), an Englishman demanded the restoration of England as the Queen of Seas, whereas a Czech came out with a wish that his neighbour’s cow pegged out because his died, too. Well, it might have been a consequence of the political submission that lasted for three hundred years, but the moral corruption, the seedbed of which was the oppression, needs to be removed by means of energetic interventions, correcting operations, like those I used for the re-shaping of my character. This is the only way to purify one’s eyes from heretical beliefs, and thus one becomes able to discern whether who is coming to him as a victor with a twig of peace in his hand is not merely a devil’s henchman and a messenger of his own moral decay.

    I divided the journey into two stages, and so it happened that I could see the "Krasnaya Armia" (translit. for Russ. Red Army) in Hořice (CZ town). There was an officer on the marketplace delivering an unintelligible speech to a huge crowd of people.

    I turned my attention to that crowd and thought: You curious bystanders and adherents, you ransom your fate, no odds whether consciously or unconsciously. And that made an end to my interest in the "Red Army".

    I went on and somewhere behind Jicin caught up a transport. It consisted of fatigued people resembling yaks going towards an unknown fate they did not trust in. German soldiers were going in front. Those were, however, not the ones symbolizing the regime, those were poor "codgers"; some of them seemed to be in such a bad condition that they could add to their dragging legs also their arms and hanging-out tongues.

    The road was rising and then immediately I should go downhill to town. I observed two young men who were leading the transport and I did not like the guys. One of them was shouting at the torpid and weary soldiers who were not capable of any defence. I was carried away by something like terror on seeing that scene. And something within ordered: "Be quickly off!" So I took pain to get quickly uphill and go away.

    Going downhill, quite a long distance ahead of the transport, I heard a rumble of a sub-machine gun. --- I could only hope it was somewhere else.

    As I came to Mrs L., she greeted me with great pleasure as usually. The "unease of peace" was lying on her as on me and as on everybody who did not know that "their time had come". For that reason she asked me: "How’s the situation about the dark abyss you saw lying ahead of the humankind formerly? You said, because it was the war-time, you could not determine whether we would stand beyond it after the war."

    "We are even closer to that abyss now, I must say."

    Then we talked about "more pleasant things" and afterwards I set off for the nearby Frydstejn. --- Also there they were glad to see me, they were only surprised that I had no accident on the way.

    I could not understand what should have happened to me, but in any case I considered as good that I could take some rest there. I stayed one or two nights. Then I made myself ready for the way back, but someone said that the Soviet Army should pass through Frydstejn, so I stayed there a bit longer.

    The troops were there, citizens were coming out of their houses and someone warned me: "They steal bikes."

    After that warning I went across the dirt tracks back to Turnov and, having made just a short stop at Mrs L’s, I continued my return journey home without any further accidents.

    As I was approaching home, I saw Russian soldiers talking with our landlady at the gate. I caught from what they said: "You must have been afraid what would happen when we come, right?"

    The landlady lied: "We looked forward to you."

    I would have been able to spit in her face. I had still vivid in my mind the moment she came running to us and in excitement told us approximately this: "Terror will come, the Russians eat children!" I consoled her, saying that they are people, too, and at the same time I was thinking of the regime I saw in a vision 18 years ago. I could even say that I praised the Russian nation; on the other hand, as the Soviet Army came, I did not want to either see them or get in touch with the members of their garrison. Something heavy like a cloud shrouded me and obscured my horizon where I would have rather seen the smiling God who refused to show His face in this country that now lived at peace. It was just a cloud; during the occupation it was the devil. Which was better?

    I terminated my employment and took another one that promised more free time to me. But some unrest stole over me, grew and culminated in a decision that I would find a place to live and a job somewhere far away from mystics so that I could disappear in the world where nobody would be able to find me.

    There was the true friend Mr B. whom I charged with the routine of the family life, which made it possible for me to devote myself to the mysticism of mine. He had no other intention than to join me in the mystical endeavour.

    Then there was Mr V. who showed many years’ adherence to the teaching, or to me – I do not know exactly. --- I had him in my heart, too. In fact, he was the only one I thought of as a serious disciple of mysticism at that time.

    After serious consideration I wanted to realize my plan and so I went to find a place to live somewhere in the borderland [of Czech Republic]. In M. (a CZ town) they engaged me in the economic department of the Local National Committee, but I forgot to reply within the appointed term, which I considered as a "sign", so I did not think about the whole matter any more.

    The situation required a solution, and it made me both worried and downhearted. It seemed to me as if I had not had any reliable way out.

    Mrs L. learned of my situation in some way. And so it happened that I was called to the phone one day. She told me that I could get a job in their company, and that I could also live in their house.

    I went to have a look at everything. I expounded Mr L. my story in a letter and also personally, describing the state of my health and the problem concerning the lack of school education, and I told him about the difficulties I saw in connection with it.

    He consoled me and – off were the threatening clouds that symbolized all evil I was oppressed with.

    It was really a shock for me. My heart was literally being broken and tears welled out of my eyes.

    And so, as someone who is just awaking from faintness and wants to go further his way, the same way I set to march to the new future…

    In Jablonec nad Nisou (CZ town) I got a job that I liked but, at the same time, I was not satisfied with it. That discontent could have been removed quite easily, but unfortunately, there were no possibilities for easy understanding with Mr L., my boss at that time. Despite all those problems there was no need for me to complain, it was obvious, because I drew many advantages the other employees did not have. In general, I could even say that I felt independent, had very good money for little work and quite a lot of leisure time left.

    I expressed my satisfaction to Mr B. and Dr K., who went to tell Mrs L.: "Well, madam, you’ve won it."

    She herself did not know what exactly she won.

    The fact was that nothing concerning that matter was obvious from my behaviour. I scrutinized everything that was necessary to take into account in connection with the family L., and I could not but conclude that Mrs L. was offering me great protection and support. --- She was the first person in the world I was really grateful to…

    Mr L. played only second role as for the significance in my life those days, as I knew that it was not on his own accord that I was his employee. Nevertheless, I concluded that he was a man who was so different from all the people I had come to know up till then. He really helped me and made no fuss over it. He did not even see his credit it the affair.

    As I reminded him of that merit of his, he did not comprehend there should have been something of that kind in his deed. It reminded me of something of my discoveries I had come to many years ago: It is more probable that you will come across somebody from the circles Mr L. belonged to, who will selflessly help you if you are in need; less often such help comes from socially less significant circles, despite the fact that people from lower classes think they are virtuous by simply being poor and/or without means. And before my spiritual eyes floated a light confirming me that the clinging to property is present where there is a lack of it rather than where there is plenty of it.

    It resembles a chain of good and evil appearances, the rings of which are not interwoven but are of the same nature. Goodness and property go hand in hand like the moral corruption and poverty do, at least in the strictly impartial sense. And if it just seems or it is reality that the moral corruption and the abundance of property on one hand, and goodness and poverty on the other, belong to one another, then it is merely a question of immature karma. An evil man will finally be requited with penury and he will suffer from it even though he has already taken a turn for good paths; a good man will become rich even if his character might have become spoilt and thus he will come to the fall into the lower realms –

    into the infernal sphere.

    But let’s put the deliberations aside, because life goes on…

    I began thinking what was the reason that brought me to Jablonec (CZ town). I felt there was no ground for it. I could safely stay in Pardubice and remain on the spot where my conditions could also get adjusted with regard to the new situation. As I came to no reasonable explanation I put it off; time will tell…

    The Christmas 1945 was approaching. Some little clouds came out in my profession’s sky, but it was nothing important or evil on the whole – it got better some time later. But the silhouette of fate was looming somewhere else.

    I observed to say that Mrs L., whom I met only very occasionally in order to comply with the unspoken wish of Mr L. not to visit her, was falling into a spiritual decline.

    I had no idea about how to solve that situation. I did not want to do anything that could bring my benefactor into unease, as I knew he had a lot to do with the trade to put it again into operation after the wartime recession. On the other hand, I also knew that the situation needed a solution, because the decline of Mrs L. concerned me to such a degree that I felt it was my fault she was falling. There were probably some karmic links that caused my bad influence upon her. Therefore, I decided to help her to do away with the problem.

    I sent my wife to give her my message that Mrs L. should call on have a talk with me. And I resolved wordlessly: If she turns up by tomorrow evening, everything is all right. If she comes later, it is bad, and I will give in my notice and move away from Jablonec, the town I do not like, anyway, owing to its [geographical] position. In addition, there were also my reflections I mentioned above.

    Mrs L. turned up in two hours or so, immediately after lunchtime. Thus I could foretell: Oh, splendid, it is even very good.

    I asked her a straight question: "Do you observe that you are falling spiritually?"

    "Yes, I do, but I can’t find an explanation for it."

    "O.K., everything will be all right from now on. Just one thing. Can you come for an hour’s visit every day?"

    "Sure I can."

    I could observe that everything was coming into a very swift motion. But I did not say a word about it nor did I mind her opinion about it. I was just telling her the way she should work and she was listening to me.

    Later, to avoid forgetting the task I assigned to her, she was silently trying her new job.

    "Not like this," I said, and went on explaining.

    She was tactful, expressing no amazement, but in her heart she said: "So it is, then! Now I know how to tackle the task."

    I liked that approach of hers. She did not contaminate the atmosphere with astonishment, which let me feel without worries that some sort of fanatic could worm himself or herself into my life.

    I changed the exercises from day to day, sometimes even two times during one session. Moral conduct was not what I insisted on, for it would have lead only to superfluous workload in the just extended field of mystical effort…

    At that time I waited for Mr. B. to come to stay permanently, as he had already ceased out his previous work in Pardubice and was engaged at the same post in Jablonec where he was given more money for the same job. He became accustomed to and adhered to us. It had been a long time since he went through his realization, and at that time he was awaking to the further progress on the way. It was evident that he was undergoing a profound purification process, and I also came to know that the Dweller of the Threshold began to take interest in his endeavour.

    I warned him to get off the tram up on the hill always when he would go to visit us and I also reassured him that there are advantages in alighting up there even though it was a bit longer way to get to our house than from the station under the hill. I believed he would follow my instruction and I cared about it very much, because I knew that due to a small defect of his health, the Keeper of the Threshold could chime in his heart and speak words of inner voice.

    I was not quite sure about him, and so, during one of Mrs L’s visits, I divined: "If Mr B. gets here, the Keeper of the Threshold is mere nothing compared to me." Mrs L., as she later told me, was startled to hear my words, thinking, "The powers of the invisible world shall not be challenged to fight."

    I concluded that the course of the fate is possible to alter by means of slight pressures in the psychical sense. Was Mr B. capable of exerting such tension changes?

    It was Friday, the day he was to come.

    But he did not. – Neither did he appear on Saturday. He was in Prague to arrange something and then he went by express train to visit us. Unfortunately he did not get off on the hill but went on. And as he was about to alight, the tramway derailed and he plus two other people lost their lives.

    At that very time I had a dream about him getting struck by a fit of nerves, the sickness he suffered from. As I did not want him to fall I called: "Mr B., hello!"

    He shuddered, recovered and apologized he was already well. But then, immediately upon it, he fell down to ground without any symptoms of the usual fit of nerves. I was aware that it would have been useless shouting at him, so I took him at his shoulders and kicked him in the breast, which made him come to.

    The dream made me worried. The more so, because it was exactly at the moment the tram was coming, and he was to arrive but he did not. Unfortunately I could not recognize whether in the invisible, where he should dwell, was "void" as is the usual case when someone just passes away. I woke him, which should hold good for the invisible world like for the real life.

    I did not pay much attention to that detail, but my disquiet was growing. Then I saw suddenly Mr S. running down the hill and approaching our house. He asked immediately upon his arrival: "What was the first name of Mr B. Antonin? – So he’s dead."

    He showed me the newspaper where there was the accident note.

    It was Sunday. The husband and wife L’s usually used to come to visit us on Sunday afternoons. They were already informed about the accident and were offering me their condolences, as they knew well what Mr B. meant to me. Especially Mrs L. was sympathizing vividly and pronouncing in her thoughts something like a wish: "I wish to stand in for Mr B. to alleviate Mr Minarik the encumbrance he has to bear."

    So I asked without words, too, placing my question into her belly *) to avoid her sensing something when being in telepathic connection with me:

    "And what about him?" I pointed in an unphysical look at Mr L.

    "He’s not involved," replied she without knowing.

    "Well," I said, "I will give it a thought to the matter."

    *) NOTE: If one wants to obtain an answer to something from the inward depths of a magical victim (object) where his or her mental activity has no influence, the mystic must always place the question as deeply as into the object’s abdomen. There is actually the seat of the subconscious there that tells the truth the object’s surface might want to conceal. Besides, the abdominal region is considered a seat of man’s nature that is directed by karmic forces; one can learn the truth also on these grounds. --- Fortunately, the magical victim (object) need not be afraid of experimenters. The consciousness, or the subconscious, residing in the abdominal region is a certain psychological quality the experimentalist must know if he is to be successful [in his magical queries] at all. And he can know this quality only on condition that he has known himself in the most profound sense; this cognition makes man virtuous and consequently not dangerous.

    I had been thinking during the last few days about why I was in Jablonec, and it seemed to me unnatural if I should have spent my life only between the worktable, bed and food. And it was absolutely unacceptable for me to think that it was suitable for me to live just to make for daily bread, using the work of my hands or my brain, and to devote all the rest of my free time to void "inaction". This vision was for me so unacceptable that all the poverty I had been through seemed to me a better line of life because it gave me mental invigoration after all.

    So I tested the stability of my occupation by exerting inner pressures in that direction. Then I guessed the L’s were husband and wife who had already done their parental duty and I concluded that the carnal lusts of the man would have to give in where there was such a decision as the one I got to know [from Mrs L.] through the already mentioned magical query. At the same time I estimated the reason why Mrs L. decided the way she did and it seemed to me that all conditions were thereby given for me to help her to open the gate of the heavenly worlds.

    Nothing special happened meanwhile, except for one dream in which the passed Mr B. came to see me. He stood before me and I was asking him questions: "How are you moving from place to place now?" --- He could not understand why I was asking about things he did not think about, but he focused on it and replied, anyway: "Why, when I want to be somewhere, I am there." As to avoid reminding him of the accident causing him the radical change of his life circumstances, I placed very carefully a question into his belly: "Do you remember that you lived on earth?"

    He was obviously going deeply into his being to search for what I wanted to know. Then finally, I saw something like darkness coming into his memories and thereupon he said: "I can remember I lived in a black world some time ago."

    Tibetans denote the state of existence in which Mr B. introduced himself to me as bardo. But because his body was complete and as I later saw him receding toward the already shaped blue light, it was actually not the bardo state, perhaps only the concluding phase of it. It made me judge that his departure from me was leading him to a new reincarnation.

    As far as his interest in my person is concerned, it was shaped by his former relations to me. But I disappointed more invisible creatures by simply refusing to express appreciation of their blessed condition as being good for me. In this respect I stick to the opinion that it is necessary to live in such a way that the "dagger, i.e. life force, leaves the body in due course" from which I expect it will represent a termination of the course of karma that my being has been subject to. To "leave the body" earlier would therefore mean missing a great opportunity that I gained by knowing the most esoteric part of the liberating teaching.

    Then he applied to me for the matter he had actually come with:

    "Do you want to go with me?"

    My reply was negative, whereupon he said:

    "I’ve praised you, wise man, but now I can see you are also attached to the world. It is just a short moment and then you are free."

    Then he was receding on the principle "I am where I want to be", but as I could see, that process, too, was running within the time limits. There, very far away, where he was almost getting out of my sight, I saw him turning his flight down towards the earth as if he was in a sort of emotion. And darkness was coming up before my eyes, the darkness he mentioned as he was recalling his previous stay on earth. I responded very swiftly, calling: "Mr B., look out!!" --- he startled, forgot about the karmic links that were drawing him down to earth and then he split himself into two beings. One of them was dark and quite uninteresting and was falling down to earth to incarnate there, whereas before the second one, the blue sphere of certain gods opened up. --- Those reverberations were going on after I woke up.

    This was the end of the period during which I strove to fulfil the assignment of a mystic who intends to convey the Teaching. It was a period of favourable presages and signs, for it gave me both social welfare and friendships so important for the Teaching. At that time I gave up all thoughts of co-operation with mystics I thought about they knew something, and instead, I assumed an authoritative attitude of a master of yoga, without which I could not continue the path I was going. I could have been satisfied, had it not been for a danger appearing on the horizon, coming from the political situation that manifested as a new depressing factor. I would have liked best if I could have marched the path of a mystic who spends his whole life doing magical operations and conveying the Teaching; however, the world "made up the idea" that man could be useful only and solely by working on increasing the war potential of the Third empire or by participating in the queer "biennial plan".

    Yes, yes, our new Republic that declared the "biennial plan" to get involved in the war machinery of the Soviets, you are beginning to go the way of a totalitarian state that will strive to suppress the spiritual values that cost me so much hardship to find and awake and that could bring you God’s blessing rather than "building" the common citizen cannot have an idea about, because he views the world with the eyes of his physical needs.

    Everything seemed to me as a move of fiendish powers against me, but I learned how to work "on a small scale", so that I began to base the Teaching transmission on the succession [of adepts], which can be defined as a conveyance on the principle "from mouth to ear". In that case I was confronted with torment that originated in worries and fears of the Teaching; but because life submitted me to such hard tests it was already probable that I would sneak the Teaching without being annihilated! Annihilated? That portent had been hanging over my head like a dark cloud since 1926 and I was mitigating it with prudent methods. I had to hope that I would be successful in effacing that portent in the future, as the second realisation I have just arrived at was looming before me.

    This was the end of the period during which I strove to fulfil the assignment of a mystic who intends to convey the Teaching. It was a period of favourable presages and signs, for it gave me both social welfare and friendships so important for the Teaching. At that time I gave up all thoughts of co-operation with mystics I thought about they knew something, and instead, I assumed an authoritative attitude of a master of yoga, without which I could not continue the path I was going. I could have been satisfied, had it not been for a danger appearing on the horizon, coming from the political situation that manifested as a new depressing factor. I would have liked best if I could have marched the path of a mystic who spends his whole life doing magical operations and conveying the Teaching; however, the world "made up the idea" that man could be useful only and solely by working on increasing the war potential of the Third empire or by participating in the queer "biennial plan".

    Yes, yes, our new Republic that declared the "biennial plan" to get involved in the war machinery of the Soviets, you are beginning to go the way of a totalitarian state that will strive to suppress the spiritual values that cost me so much hardship to find and awake and that could bring you God’s blessing rather than "building" the common citizen cannot have an idea about, because he views the world with the eyes of his physical needs.

    Everything seemed to me as a move of fiendish powers against me, but I learned how to work "on a small scale", so that I began to base the Teaching transmission on the succession [of adepts], which can be defined as a conveyance on the principle "from mouth to ear". In that case I was confronted with torment that originated in worries and fears of the Teaching; but because life submitted me to such hard tests it was already probable that I would sneak the Teaching without being annihilated! Annihilated? That portent had been hanging over my head since 1926 and I was mitigating it with prudent methods. I had to hope that I would be successful in effacing that portent in the future, as the second realisation I have just arrived at was looming before me.