Since I think I am done with my literal works, which I wrote being guided by a conviction that it is necessary to give people what I learned as a result of my mystical studies, investigation and research, I have been thinking whether to give to truth seeking people something from my life as well. That is, however, not so easy. If I want to talk about myself, it seems like if I appeared between Scylla and Charybda. Scylla I see in the fact that the description of personal mystical experience and knowledge may induce unhealthy views of me in many people. Charybda, on the other hand, I see in the fact, that if I keep my experience for myself, it will cause an unreasonable judgment that the teaching I presented in my writings cannot be realized by anybody from the western world. Therefore I conclude that it would be best if I say, if possible openly, everything about me without trying to explain it, though.
If it occurs to some of the readers that I exaggerate something, let them accept my assurance that my experience does not allow talking about personal mystical life with the intention to show myself up or to falsify something. It has been too long ago since I realized that efforts to make up a worldly "name" are in vain, they lead to a loss of passionate and mental privacy at the first level and they steal out our individuality at the second level.
The loss of feeling of individuality is something terrible. I can see that in people who forgot about themselves and therefore they now stand like in front of a wall of forever dumb mystery, hidden in the words: "What is going to happen"? And in order to secure themselves they back up from all pressures of the world, gradually falling down to a standpoint that it is needed to save everything so that their belly can be filled and they could lounge mentally and feel fine as much as they can.
Maybe I am just lucky that destiny removed such views and hopes from me. But while thinking like that I am also aware of the fact that not every human would survive without any harm on his spirit such a spiritual healing cure which I have undertaken by my mystical life. That is because I can see around me those who attained so narrow philosophy of life that their minds are only concerned about their work desk and private or family matters which force them to complain about their fate or employer.
Yes I lived among you, you socially oppressed people, but did you have any understanding for the one of you? Did you not laugh at the "spiritist" who was more of a scientist than a weak person seeking pleasures out of the Earth, when Earth refused to supply them to him? But who is to judge you for your unknowing and prejudice which assures even the very last person that they know best, although they knew it differently yesterday and tomorrow they will have yet another opinion? You all live under the burden of unknowing which you let trick you that you know everything! But don't forget! Everybody thinks that he knows and understands the most from all other people, yet he cheats one day and is being cheated the other day to prove that he knows and understands only virtually and the fate brooms with him whatever corner of fatal constellations.
It would be good to admit that there is much less of what people do not know than of what they do. And allow this finding to induce an objective investigation of yourself in relation to your fate. By that many mysteries of people's lives would become clear and transparent for good of all who behave like that.
However, I want to tell you about my life. I am not concerned only with the outer life data but rather the inner life. People may judge this story of my life as they wish, I use it to implement the teaching I presented to them in my other books. If they want to see something "made up" in my plead, they may calm down by the fact that people, especially young, live also an inner life besides the regular one. In their inner life they may not always be such as they appear on the surface. And if their inner life has not yet ripened enough to reach an objective manifestation it is still just a line of images, wishes and hopes; when it ripens it models them so that they become a faithful resemblance of it at a later age.
If we want to bring a dreamy or ideal life to reality, it requires a lot of power. If we make it a real life, it does not matter if we live it on a subjective or objective ground. We have to realize that we do not eat, drink, engage with persons of other sex, we do not even strive for social prestige and all that just "to be seen" but to experience it in the subjective sense. And this is to be seen as the purpose of this biography. May it reveal subjective life of a human-mystic which has neither earlier nor later been bound by religious believes and therefore he could combine the psychological process with a system of religious ideas, which in combination created a mystico-real life.